This is What Happens When You're Smoking, Texting, and Walking Near Cliffs

There are already a number of ads about the dangers of texting and driving. Well, they're not really ads. They're not advertisements, and I doubt they've ever changed the way anyone has ever approached their lives. In fact, the stupidity of these propagandist commercials almost makes me want to text and drive just to show it's possible. Anyway, prepare for a whole new slew of propagandist commercials about not texting, smoking, and walking around cliffs.

That seems awfully specific, doesn't it? Well, there's a reason. In Alaska on September 17, Maria Pestrikoff (pictured right) was doing all of these naughty things at once. As it turns out, she lives near a 60 foot cliff. Of course, you know how it goes when you're comfortable in your neighborhood. Demonstrating what she found to be successful multitasking, Maria popped a cigarette into her mouth, lit it, and began to text while she walked to her house.

A problem showed its ugly head, however, when she wasn't watching where she was going and her natural sense of direction led her astray. Rather than walk directly to her house by the time she was finished with sending her text message, she ended up falling off the 60 foot cliff. She ended up stuck between the rocks and the tide at the bottom of the cliff, injured. Of course, the plus side to perpetually keeping a kung fu grip on your phone is that, when you plummet 60 feet to a rock bed when the tide is coming in, you've got a handy dandy way to communicated with 911.

The tide was just at her toes when the authorities arrived and brought Maria to the hospital, where she is now in a stable condition. So, there's the true story with a big moral. Don't text, smoke, and walk near cliffs at the same time.

It almost sounds like one of those DirecTV commercials, doesn't it? When cable goes out, you start smoking. When you start smoking, you start multitasking more. When you start multitasking more, you text and smoke at the same time. When you smoke and text at the same time, you fall off a cliff. Don't fall off a cliff. Get rid of cable and get DirecTV.