Sinister: The Scariest Movie of the Year

Can you believe it? Horror is back! It's been years since a movie this downright well done, emotionally gripping, and ultimately terrifying hit the cinemas. It's no secret that I really enjoy the Paranormal Activity series because they provide fun scares, but, let's face it, none of those really left you bothered after the first one. They're gimmicky but fun enough that you get over it. That's been what I look forward to in October since it seems the real scares don't exist anymore in the sea of mediocre horror remakes and retreads of the greats. You know what, though? Rest assured, Sinister brings back clever horror with a heart - and a bite.

Director/Co-Writer Scott Derrickson with C. Robert Cargill created the kind of original and spooky horror film that will (ideally) scar a generation of young teenagers for life. It's so well done not because there's a big scary bad guy or lots of gore. No, this is a well done movie for a very simple reason: intelligence. I credit a lot of the intelligence of the script to co-writer C. Robert Cargill, who was a critic for years over at Aint It Cool News. This guy has seen crappy horror and knows what mistakes to avoid. It's so refreshing to see a film that could so easily fall into every cliche in the book even given its own story which seems to lend itself to the same plot directions that have been used and reused for decades.

The plot follows Ellison Oswalt (played perfectly by Ethan Hawke), a true crime novelist far past his prime. It's been ten years since his last big hit and he's quickly falling into obscurity, but he has a plan to change this. In his last attempt to reach at that fame he used to achieve, Ellison has moved his family into a small town house of a murdered family where one of the children went missing. Most presumed the missing girl was long dead, but Ellison decides to do some further investigation and make a difference by solving the case and reaching old glory. As he investigates the murders, he is drawn further and further away from his wife and two children as he finds a box of old Super 8 footage reels in the attic that depict the murders of multiple families. Has he stumbled upon a serial murder that the police missed? Even more concerning, there are strange symbols and a shadowy figure in the images that cannot be overlooked, nor should they be.

Ultimately, this is a film that proves how unfortunate trailers are. It's a paradoxical predicament; seeing some of the movie makes you want to see more, but seeing more spoils things and make you wish you were seeing it completely fresh. It's best to forget the trailers as best as you can and simply let this film take you on its wild ride. Oh, and wild it is. Something especially clever about the film is how, in a year of so many found footage films that they no longer really make much of an impact, here we have the story of a man who manages to find terrifying footage. We get the same shock of seeing something that could be real, filmed by someone who is not a trained cinematographer, and it impacts the real story. There's no need for characters to film themselves because it becomes part of the plot itself.

Mark my words, there will not be a scarier movie released this year. With a film like this that hits all the right notes and leaves you disturbed and upset, I can't see another movie being more effective. We've got our latest installment of Paranormal Activity but that simply cannot capture the fresh fear Sinister harnessed so masterfully. Of course, a very significant difference between the two types of films is the character work. Both work because they actually craft characters, not cardboard cutouts or hot teens. Paranormal doesn't tend to strive to make you really care or root for its protagonists, however. It works well enough that you are scared silly when the action starts, but the deaths really aren't anything too depressing. (I'm looking at you, Micah). Sinister takes the opposite and ultimately more disturbing approach of crafting a cast of believable and innocent characters that you really don't want to die.

Ethan Hawke leads the family in a flawed but human performance that is very, very good. If the casting was off, this film could easily have turned silly instead of scary. He sees the deaths of all these old families and it's terribly disturbing. This film, while not overtly gory or ever going anywhere near the torture porn heights of the Saw franchise, is not for the faint of heart. You see a lot of innocent families get murdered and it's really not pleasant, but it serves the story and adds such a fantastically creepy atmosphere that you cannot help but see these and get sucked into the mystery just as much as the main character. When the stakes get raised, you're upset not simply because there is a weird noise, but because you cannot accept that harm could happen to this family. It's not okay, but it seems so likely.

This is a great horror movie. Plain and simple, this is horror done right. It's horrifying but not gratuitous. It treats the audience with intelligence and realizes how far it can take itself in any direction. There are real scares here, not simply jump scares. If you're looking for a great scary movie this October, you really don't need to look any further than Sinister. As for Paranormal Activity 4 coming out next week, well, I've had my serving of terror. Now, I'm ready for the icing on the cake.

8/10

A Biased Review of Frankenweenie

With a title like that, first of all, shame on you for clicking on this article. Of course, let me get all philosophical on you and turn things around by saying there is no such thing as an unbiased review of a movie. You don't read someone's opinions on art to exclude bias, but there's a lot leading to this particular bias. First of all, you've got the Tim Burton bias. Burton was once considered one of the great new minds in Hollywood, then 2001 happened and he spent a decade working on movies that were heartless and came off more like a Tim Burton impersonator than Burton himself. Then, this year, things changed and we're now seeing that old Burton that used to actually tell amusing and entertaining stories through his warped mind. Perhaps it's no coincidence that it's now that his films have finally stopped making money as well.

Pictured above is the guy, a weirdo if there ever was one. I don't mean that in a bad way at all. His weirdness was much of what made him such an interesting filmmaker in his early days, and Frankenweenie brings the heart back to his fantasy world. This is the Edward Scissorhands filmmaker we once loved, back with more to say. Frankenweenie is a stop motion film about a young boy named Victor Frankenstein (voiced by Charlie Tahan). Victor is one of many strange children in his class, but he's probably the least social. He's a genius and aspiring filmmaker, making stop motion disaster films in his basement with his one true friend, his dog Sparky. When Sparky gets tragically run over, Victor's world is all but ruined. He is saved only by the inspiration his kooky science teacher Mr. Rzykruski (voiced by Martin Landau) to do exactly what you'd expect given his name and the name of the film. With the power of lightning and science, Victor resurrects the corpse of Sparky. From here, things play out in a rising tension as things get quickly out of hand and things fall into a climax that serves as a perfect conclusion as well as a wonderful homage to the early horror films of Hollywood.

There's a lot this film says actually, though I'm not entirely convinced Burton was reaching for a whole lot more than simply telling a poignant and entertaining story. I suspect there's a lot of personal emotion brought into the story. This is a complete hunch, but I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that young Tim, an aspiring filmmaker, was forced to play sports by his father, and his dog got run over. It also wouldn't completely catch me off guard if Tim Burton spent his free time playing with corpses, but that's just because he's really into having his characters look either pale and emaciated or completely obese. Death clearly has been an inspiration to his strange visual style throughout the years. The personal aspect of the film was no doubt intentional, but this brings me to my second bias as I sit down to write this review. My own dog, which I'd had for 16 years, died the day after I saw Frankenweenie.

To some extent, the way Burton's animation managed to capture the realistic movement and actions of a dog in Sparky, both alive and dead, makes the heartbreak so much more intense during the death and the subsequent pain Victor goes through. Burton's characters, for the first time since the early 90s, aren't quite realistic, but the emotional core of the film is easily to relate to, whether you've had a pet die or not. It's sad when it needs to be, but it doesn't wallow in despair. Victor is not the Victor Frankenstein of Mary Shelley's famous novel; as a result, he reanimates his dog out of love, not because he wants to be a god. This contrast is not lost in the film, however, as some competitive members of the community do follow the wrong path here, creating for the sake of creating, to disastrous but ultimately funny consequences. The love of a pet and the love of scientific exploration are hardly deep themes, yet I couldn't help but feel the film is just as much about capturing the emotions a young child has upon seeing the classic monster movies.

There are overt references to Frankenstein, Frankenstein's Bride, Dracula, The Wolfman, and even Godzilla to name the main ones. Like the above films, Frankenweenie is a black and white film about monsters, though it's certainly not a monster movie. These films inspired Burton not just on this film, but in the creation of his own Gothic cinematic style, and seeing this manifest here is quite fascinating. A twisted cinephile may consider this the companion piece to Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master, a film also about a dog and his master and the love they share for each other, though not quite as overtly.

Though the sum of Frankenweenie's parts may not add up to some great statement about the human condition or society, it's a wonderful look into the brain of Tim Burton and a very sweet story, even if it is full of strange people and monsters. My personal loss will probably end up leaving a much more emotional connection with the film that I'd otherwise have, but there is a lot to this movie that is absolutely wonderfully put together. It contains perfect performances, great black and white animation, and a story that's got something for everyone. If nothing else, I hope this becomes a regular Halloween favorite for youngsters who aren't quite ready for the real scary movies that paved the way for Frankenweenie to exist.

8/10

Bittersweet, a lament for coffee in America

This may sound heretical coming from a barista, but I consider myself first a coffee connoisseur and secondly an employed victim of grounded dreams and today’s increasingly popular coffee shop. So here goes.

I’ve fantasized about working in a coffee shop for a long time now; it seems like the perfect place to encounter artsy types of people who like weird music, organic food, have dreadlocks, tattoos, whatever. But hipsters and hippies be warned, the coffee shop has been degraded by corporate rule, and it’s more expensive than ever.

I finally scored a job in one such coffee shop this past summer, completely thrilled. The first week was “training”: a time to polish new employees’ mopping, ass-kissing, and video-watching skills. Among other valuable minute-long videos, “How to Make Whipped Cream” taught me exactly what 12 cents worth of whipped cream looks like beneath a plastic domed lid. The rest of my training was hands-on handing out of drinks to real customers. I’ll just take the time now, then, to apologize sincerely to all those middle-aged women who stepped on the scales after a week and blamed themselves for my mix-up of lowfat and heavy bases; all those people with caffeine aversions who were mysteriously wakeful for a six hour period on a work night; all those who sipped some liquid they deemed delicious only to find that their cup was left with an ice chunk of nothingness in no time. Not to undermine my heartfelt apology, but in my defense, as I ran back and forth tossing poorly timed espresso shots into blenders filled with fat and sugar, I was told I was doing well. If I admitted to tamping a shot of espresso badly, an extra pump of mocha was suggested…which brings me to my first complaint about the modern coffee shop: sugar and fat.

They’re delicious. Don’t get me wrong, flavored drinks have their place in the world and in the world of coffee shops. But our store sold almost entirely drinks drowning in fatty milk-based products or sugary syrups. The fact that people complained when their ESPRESSO drink tasted coffee-y could possibly be overlooked, if those few who actually wanted the taste of espresso weren’t so devastated by my second complaint: bitter espresso. Truthfully that should be my first complaint because you should not be able to succeed in a coffee shop with poor quality espresso, but as the solution is simply sugar and fat, no worries, right?

Wrong. My dad paid me a visit after my first week or so, and asked simply for a soymilk cappuccino. My fingers twitched over the register screen, waiting for him to say what flavor he wanted, but alas, none came. A cappuccino, as I know now, is made by tamping a shot of espresso into a cup, steaming milk to a foamy consistency without burning it, and pouring it directly onto the shot without stirring and ruining the layers of espresso. I did not do that. And it showed, as I believe my father’s exact words to his newly “trained” daughter were “Honey, this sucks.” He didn’t even want me to remake the expensive creation.

My point here is that people should be scared out of their minds if they are true coffee lovers and approach one of the many newly opened shops like this. The rest of you are fine. How do you know which you are? Well, if you are like the majority of customers who drive through and ask for your coffee black, with three splendas and an inch of cream, you're definitely fine, keep doing that. True coffee lovers know. For example, when I ask my dad how he’ll take it, every day of my life his response has been the same: "black like my soul". And I know not to add sweetness or caloric joy. But I also know that because the quality beans are freshly roasted and ground, there's no way his black coffee, or soul, could be bitter.

Modern day coffee shops do too much in the wrong areas and do too little in the right ones. There is too little training with too much pressure for speed and shortcuts, too many drinks to memorize and too few to perfect, and poor quality essentials at too high a price with too little spirit or care. I used to idealize working in a coffee shop, making drinks that even hardened connoisseurs like my father could compliment, but that experience was ruined for me by a place that shares its name with electric mobility vehicles used by the elderly. And as for those corporate assholes that are carelessly raking in profits from their expensive, disgusting drinks, underpaying and overworking employees, and most importantly, brainwashing society with sacrilegious ideas about coffee and espresso, thanks a latte.

A Nice Picture to Brighten Your Day

Happy Saturday, everyone. 

There's no journalistic purpose to this, but I figure there's nothing like seeing George W. Bush bite into a kitten to make your weekend just a little more entertaining. 

Write for Us

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If you are interested, send an email to GuiltyPleasuresKVNO@gmail.com.

This is What Happens When You're Smoking, Texting, and Walking Near Cliffs

There are already a number of ads about the dangers of texting and driving. Well, they're not really ads. They're not advertisements, and I doubt they've ever changed the way anyone has ever approached their lives. In fact, the stupidity of these propagandist commercials almost makes me want to text and drive just to show it's possible. Anyway, prepare for a whole new slew of propagandist commercials about not texting, smoking, and walking around cliffs.

That seems awfully specific, doesn't it? Well, there's a reason. In Alaska on September 17, Maria Pestrikoff (pictured right) was doing all of these naughty things at once. As it turns out, she lives near a 60 foot cliff. Of course, you know how it goes when you're comfortable in your neighborhood. Demonstrating what she found to be successful multitasking, Maria popped a cigarette into her mouth, lit it, and began to text while she walked to her house.

A problem showed its ugly head, however, when she wasn't watching where she was going and her natural sense of direction led her astray. Rather than walk directly to her house by the time she was finished with sending her text message, she ended up falling off the 60 foot cliff. She ended up stuck between the rocks and the tide at the bottom of the cliff, injured. Of course, the plus side to perpetually keeping a kung fu grip on your phone is that, when you plummet 60 feet to a rock bed when the tide is coming in, you've got a handy dandy way to communicated with 911.

The tide was just at her toes when the authorities arrived and brought Maria to the hospital, where she is now in a stable condition. So, there's the true story with a big moral. Don't text, smoke, and walk near cliffs at the same time.

It almost sounds like one of those DirecTV commercials, doesn't it? When cable goes out, you start smoking. When you start smoking, you start multitasking more. When you start multitasking more, you text and smoke at the same time. When you smoke and text at the same time, you fall off a cliff. Don't fall off a cliff. Get rid of cable and get DirecTV.

The Master: A Mesmerizing Drama

Writer/director Paul Thomas Anderson is considered about the cream of the crop of modern filmmakers. He's often referred to as The Next Stanley Kubrick even, which is, as far as I'm concerned, a silly statement. PT Anderson is one of the freshest, most talented voices in cinema, but he has certainly developed his own voice. He's not the next anyone, he's PT Anderson. As a cinematic master, he last graced cinemas with his magnum opus, There Will Be Blood five years ago. Now, he's back with a film that has a similar intensity not present in his earlier work. PT Anderson returns with The Master, and period drama shot on 65mm film that is every bit as captivating as its predecessor, if not quite as satisfying.

That's not how a film should be reviewed, though, is it? On so many sites, I see this film getting downgraded simply because it's not There Will Be Blood 2. The simple truth of the matter is The Master is a very, very different film from Blood. They share a few stylistic things in common, but in the end, here we have a much more intimate and smaller story about troubled people. It's not about huge character arcs or a complicated story; it's a glimpse into the lives of these flawed individuals.

Our protagonist is Freddy Quell (Joaquin Phoenix), a man returning from WWII with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder who is attempting to have a normal life, only that's not as easy as it seems. His mind is very messed up now, presumably a result of his devotion to the nation by serving in the war. Now, he cannot hold a job, has a major drinking problem, and has no direction in his life. One drunken night, he wanders aboard a yacht where he meets Lancaster Dodd (Philip Seamour Hoffman), the founder and head of a new religion known as The Cause. Dodd and Quell are opposites - a driven man who has devoted his life to leading others, and a seemingly hopeless drunk with no prospects or friends. The two become dependent off of each other, which leads to unexpected outcomes for the both of them.

It's best to leave the plot description vague because the plot itself is rather vague, not in an ambiguous sense, but rather because this is no more than a character study about complicated characters. What's perhaps the most fascinating decision behind the scenes here is how PT Anderson scaled back his filmmaking style quite a bit, moving the camera infrequently and avoiding the huge tracking shots he's known for. This is not to say that the cinematography was anything less than stunning, however. There is a strong style, but a much more subtle one than we've come to expect from the man. This subtlety also extends to the development of our two main characters.

From the script alone, these characters are developed to a point, without revealing their full complexities, which is where the absolutely flawless performances of Phoenix and Hoffman add considerable complexity to the characters. Anderson made an interesting choice; he let the performances create the complexity, and he just let his direction serve what was necessary to watch these two completely believable actors do what they needed to do. In a smaller role, it's also necessary to point out the amount of power Amy Adams brought to her role as Dodd's wife Mary. Unlike the other two, she has no scenes where she loses her calm or gets to be completely unhinged, but the subtleties of fantastic acting tell us quite a lot about who this woman is and why she's here.

Of course, if you've read any other reviews for this film, you're probably wondering why I'm not going off about how amazingly complex and hard to understand this film is. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm dull but The Master doesn't come off like a terribly cryptic epic at all to me. There is symbolism and great thematic work, but none of it is terribly complicated. There are a few things that leave room for interpretation, but this is not a puzzling watch. One thing I've certainly taken away from it is how little respect Paul Thomas Anderson seems to have for religious institutions. Between this and his previous film, we see despicable men running religious groups to serve their own egotistical purposes, because they want to rule, spirituality in both cases is not even present. Here, we see this very blatantly, and even get the metaphor of a dog and his master through Freddy and Dodd as their relationship develops.

Paul Thomas Anderson has described this film as a love story between two men, but I really think it's just a tragic tale of a man who does not have the function of being normal who wants to fit in. We see the characters in The Cause partaking in their makeshift family because it makes them feel good to fit into something that's bigger than themselves. Characters see (or invent) meaning in the universe for a sense of belonging, but Freddy's mental state makes him stick out even from this basic opportunity. This is a tragic, intimate tale that's remarkably well put together and something that will no doubt improve with age. 

9/10

Sleepwalk With Me: Mike Birbiglia's Film Is Hilarious and Sincere

I can't recommend this little film enough; it's one of the best of the year and a truly great experience. Sleepwalk With Me is currently playing on limited screens in the US, so get to it if you have a chance. Unfortunately for this site, my official review has been published over at WhatCulture!, but thanks to the handy dandy links here on the internet, I can bring it right to you!

Click here for my 4.5 star review. 

Go see this movie.

Guilty Pleasures Podcast Episode 1 is Here!

Tom Knoblauch and Matthew Wurstner have recorded the very first episode of the Guilty Pleasures Podcast. We're still working out a few kinks, so the audio isn't perfect, but that should be perfected in the future episodes.

Click on the links to download an MP3 and enjoy! Each link is 30 minutes long, courtesy of Spreaker Online Radio.
Download Part One: We discuss upcoming films and what IMDB considers the worst film of all time.
Download Part Two: Should we legalize marijuana? How religion affects societies. Oh, and Jesus may have been married.
Download Part Three: The 2012 election - what's wrong with politics today?

 Come back and check every Tuesday evening for the brand new podcast. 

A Director's Cut of The Dark Knight Rises May Be Released After All (UPDATED)

UPDATED: Okay, sorry. False alarm. The party is over. The party pooper here is none other than writer/director Christopher Nolan who has confirmed that he has no plans to assemble a longer cut, regardless of how much better the film would be as a result of it. So, don't bother reading this article. There are better things to do (and better posts to read).

People and Politics

Mark Twain once said, "Politicians are like dirty diapers; the need to be changed often and for the same reason," although seemingly childish, the man might have a solid point. For so many years, politics have been a battle of the right and the left, Democrats and Republicans, Liberals and conservatives, but honestly putting all the media has told us aside, what do the essentials of politics boil down to?

So many people in America often times never take the time to study politics themselves and become familiar with the issues at hand. According to Peoplepress.org approximately 25% of Americans believe that what happens in Washington does personally affect them. That's 1 in 4 Americans.

Another ironic fact is that, while about 90% of Americans are registered to vote, only 53% consider themselves well versed on the relevant political topics. That means that almost 38% of registered voters are at the polls to fill in the boxes, slap on a "I Voted Today" sticker, and walk out the door. So you might ask yourself: what could they possibly be doing at the polls? They are simply voting with their party's choice, many Americans will simply vote with whatever party they have always voted for. Its gotten to the point where Politicians can count on certain states voting for them; for example, the south has always been called the solid south for their solid history of voting Democrat, thus the Democrats can count on solid votes from that region.

Before Midnight Secretly Finishes Filming: Is This Good News?

If you want to know an example of what I consider to be a perfect series, look no further than the dynamic duo of Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. I seriously adore these two films about love. Perhaps that's part of their genius. They are very much about love, though not exactly love stories. It's the tale of Celine and Jesse, who spend one night together in Vienna after making a rash decision as strangers to see how things went. Both young, they spend the night and fall for each other, but still don't know if things can last. The sequel picks up nine years later when they happen to meet again in Paris at a book signing. They spend a couple of hours reexamining their flame and what it might mean now.

In the end, the two were brilliant companion pieces following these characters in two days over the course of a decade. By the end of Before Sunset, I was amazingly happy and completely satisfied. As far as I'm concerned, that's one of the best endings to any film, especially any series. Did I want more? No. Hell no. There are some stories that are too perfect to be tampered with; this is very much one of them. The original mystique of a sequel to Before Sunrise provided a tricky but ultimately intriguing idea - what happened to these two? Are they together? Are they strangers? Did their brief love last? The sequel answered these questions magnificently while also provided a very telling look into Celine and Jesse's more mature, older selves.